Wednesday 15 June 2011

Twit-Telly


And by this I don't mean telly for twits, no no no, I mean telly for twitterers (it's a word). Gone are the days of sitting on your lonesome sofa, with a Chef Lonely-Hearts and a tea-stained blanket wrapped around your Oreo-stuffed frame. No more of that, we have Snuggies now! But seriously, instead of talking to an empty room, we can now pick up our phones and type such thing as,

OMFG, this bawsac on my telly is a bawsac ROFL LMAO #thetellyshowwereallwatching

And we can be safe in the knowlege that there are others out there in the Twitterverse with the same views, all we have to do is scroll down and bingo!

Thatmanthatwritesforthatnewspaper
What a cockface this cockface on my telly is #thetellyshowwereallwatching

I'm not alone in my house watching me telly, it's all actually an illusion! In reality my tiny living room is filled with people I admire, writers, actors, musicians, comedians, as well as a plethora of virtual pals whose faces I've never seen in motion, only frozen in avatars and everyone's sitting around chatting about what we're all watching. I am swept along on a wave of inclusion and I decide to tweet Thatmanthatwritesforthatnewspaper as we seem to be on the same wavelength:

@Thatmanthatwritesforthatnewspaper What a cockfaced bawsac! #thetellyshowwereallwatching

Hahaha! I'm so funny! He's going to think I'm so funny! And he only bloody does and retweets my tweet for all to see! OMFG! I'm flipping HI-LARIOUS, maybe I should start writing down my thoughts if they're this funny, maybe even try some stand-up, what the heck?! Basking in my new found awesomeness and to keep the momentum going for my six (count 'em SIX) new followers, I roll up my Snuggie sleeves and write a reply to a comedian I like because she'll get me too.

@Thatcomedianoffthatpannelshow Hahaha! What's the script with this cockfaced bawsac? Is he some kind of moron or something? LOLZ #thetellyshowwereallwatching

I am on FIRE. Buzzing, I wait for my inevitable reply. It's totes coming. I'll give her a minute. She's taking her time. I've refreshed my @ mentions twelve times now. My sense of inclusion is slowly ebbing away and my living room full of virtual pals fades away until it's just me, my Snuggie and my Chef Lonely-Hearts again. I fetch a bottle of red wine. By the time the telly show ends, I'm very drunk and definitely not funny.

Nah! Really though, Twitter has made telly-watching a completely different experience. There are event shows like the X Factor or the Apprentice that end up trending world-wide; there are shows you only decide to watch because Twitter tells you about them like the 1976 TOTP reruns, which turned out to be a brilliant night in; and then there are ongoing shows like Eastenders and Corrie that build-up a plethora of not-so-private Twitter jokes. So cheeurs Twitter! Cheeurs for the virtual pals! Cheeurs for the laughs! Cheeurs for indulging my telly addiction! And cheers for fueling this blog!