Made in Chelsea: Prepare to be hit by a wall of hate.

Monday saw the beginning of another faux reality series about a group of glamorous young people with big wallets and even bigger egos. My beloved The Only Way is Essex finished it's reem second run last week and now makes room for E4's Made in Chelsea. The trailers gave a good indication of how hateful these people would be and I was not disappointed. They were horrendous. ALL of them; privileged poshos living in one of London's most exclusive areas, all with droning plumby accents, all self involved and all vain.

The first episode begins with a party to celebrate the launch of Ambaaaaa's jewellery line. There was a distinct lack of jewellery, perpetuating the myth that Chelsea parties are just a place to be seen. We meet Caggaaaaaay, she's a singer. A real artist. Deep and that. Then there's Little Lord Fonteroy Francis. Can you guess what he does? Go on guess. You'll never get it. He's a DIAMOND MINER. Yup, for reals. Who's this now? Wait, is that Vigo, the villain off of Ghost Busters II (thanks to @nicklewisbryan on Twitter for that)? Nope, it's just Fredrik who's hair is the only interesting thing about him- NEXT! Ollaaay, who is NOT GAY AT ALL, looks like Ferdie off of This Life's younger, snootier brother. Because Ollaaay is NOT GAY AT ALL he has a girlfriend, Gabriellaaa who inexplicably adores him. Then we have Spencaaaar, charming Spencaaar who has a girlfriend, Fundaaaaaa (I know, I know) but he also likes Caggaaay, although he won't sleep with anyone other than his girlfriend AT THE MOMENT. Told you he was a charmer.

You bored yet? Me too. And I don't know what's going on because I can't understand a chuffing word they're saying, E-NUN-CI-ATE! There are various other faceless glam-bots some of whom I only remember because their names are so ridiculous, like Binkaaay and Cheskaaa. There's nothing endearing about any of these people but what did we expect? Of course there is nothing likeable about being rich and posh and living in Chelsea. People won't watch it in there droves like TOWIE because no one will have a favourite who they love because even though they might be a bit dim, they're probably quite a nice person. This Chelsea lot are also a bit dim, see the 'Charles Dickens wrote Winnie the Pooh' conversation, but they lack that warmth of character. And there's no Nana Pat to give us some down to earth wisdom.

Despite all of it's failings, I will be watching it next week BECAUSE they're so deliciously hateful but I predict even this will get old quickly. I give it three more eps until I hurl a full can of Strongbow through the telly into their tedious symmetrical faces.