It's a Mind-Melter.

It's week 3 (well it was few weeks ago, I'm catching up). This week's task was, as Lord Sugar put it, 'turning flour into serious dough.' Oh my sides.

After last weeks ridiculous boardroom rammie the teams were diluted further with peroxide Mel being one of the girls sent over to the boys' team. Of course because Mel has her own food distribution company she would be the perfect leader of her new team. Yeah, you'd think but then there she goes again, using her special made-up business speak; the team should think about 'best sellery things'???? Yes, definitely tastilicious cakey-cakes.

Meanwhile back on Apollo Shibby and Jamie fight it out for the role of project manager. Outvoted, Jamie takes his defeat in the manner of Kevin the teenager, tutting and sighing and rolling his eyes. Ah, life's not fair, is it Jamie?

And so the task begins. Mel and Synergy name their ephemeral bakery 'Le Pain Artisan.' Ooh la la? They head off to secure an order from the hotel chain and I am rolling around my floor in pain. How much is it for one roll, Mel? One Roll?! 60p? Is it? What? So off they go to figure it out on their calculator. they'll only be 5 minutes... 15 minutes later she's finally figured it out. The hotel chap does not look impressed.

Now it's Shibby and Apollo's turn. How much for one roll? 6p. Done. Shibby is chuffed. Well done Shibby's Angels. And they got an order for some croissants, good job! But oh dear, we're not making croissants. SIGH.

Next stop for Synergy and their calculator is a restaurant chain - AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! But it's OK, Alex saves the day; he's got an inbuilt calculator.

Paloma bowls into Apollo's meeting with big big numbers. We're making 50,000 muffins and 28 million rolls, well not really, but you get the idea. Shibby at this point manages to stop the Paloma express in her path, unfortunately it was in the middle of a meeting in front of clients. He does make a good point though, 'we're not Supermen.'

By the way, sleepy-eyed Joanna's a bit quiet this week, eh?

Anyway, in Synergy's kitchen, ex-marine Chris runs a tight ship and the well oiled production line churns out Mel's 'best sellery things.' But poor Apollo's kitchen has fallen apart and now at 4 in the morning they're apparently off to get battered, delivering18 bread rolls to the hotel who ordered a thousand. Shibby's advice to the owner? Suggest the guests go on the Atkin's diet. He's not impressed. Shibby bungs him 130 quid.

Meanwhile, Alex got an A* in his GCSE maths, you know. INBUILT CALCULATOR, MELISSA.

Both teams hit the streets and sell and argue about selling and sell some more and then it's over. Thank Christ.

In the boardroom Mel's team take the win in spite of their cringe-tastic leader. Lucky escape I think, she'll not last long [I wrote this right after this episode was first shown. I know, I'm psychic]. So off the winners and Mel pop to an eastern restaurant to be entertained by Arabian dancers. YAWN.

Down at the end of Loser Street in Heartbreak Cafe Shibby's team hang their heads going over their defence. What's Shibby's defence in front of Lord Sugar? 'My bad! I haven't done this before! I promise I'll learn from it!' CRINGE.

If Shibby's going down, he's taking Paloma and Sandeesh into the boardroom with him. Sandeesh's defence is that she will propel Lord sugar into world domination. Or something. Sugar points out that Hitler had a problem with that. good point. It's practically the same thing. Paloma is safe I think mainly because she's beautiful and terrifying, double intimidation. The Grace Jones of the business world. Poor Shibby's fired but it's okay, he's going to learn from it.

My brain is dribbling out of my ears.