Since EVERYONE is talking about it, I thought might as well talk about it too: the X Factor. Steeped in controversy, this year has been a doozy, without actually having any one person or group that are that interesting. They try to be, but they're not. Rebbecca, for instance, has unique voice, a 'recording' voice, but she's got a touch of the Leona-Lewises about her. She's timid and quiet and, like we are reminded every week, she's just a normal young girl from Liverpool. Well so is everyone. We're all normal young girls or boys from somewhere before some of us go on to do great things. 'Can you believe Mary used to work in a supermarket?' Yeah, I can. Everyone needs to earn money to eat and heat their houses and clothe themselves and they're children. 'Isn't it sweet she's doing this for her children?' Most parents are doing what they're doing for their children, whether they're on X Factor or working in a bank or a circus performer. 'But it's so we can relate to them.' I see. But couldn't we relate to them anyway because, you know, they're people? Basically, I'm not bothered what you used to do or where you come from or if you're doing this for your kids - just be charming and bloody SING!
Of course there have been two big upsets this year, creepy Wagner and Cat Weasel's inexplicable staying power. Maybe Wagner's can be explained, people think it's funny. I am no one of these people. He gives me the heebie-jeebies, really he does; that fixed ventriloquist dummy smile, that hair,eugh that hair! I can't watch him any more, he literally makes my skin crawl and also he is just awful. Ah, and Cat Weasel. She was irritating on her first audition and she is irritating now and the way it all happened, fishy no? Has anyone seen 'Green Eyed World' on You Tube? Funny they've never mentioned it on the show. No wonder people don't know who the 'real' Katie Waissel/Vogel is. Is she acting? Just because you keep changing your hair doesn't mean we won't recognise you, Katie! It's all a bit of a conundrum but the fact that she's still in means that people are talking about her. I don't normally side with conspiracy theorists but in this case I am making an exception. The whole thing stinks. It's a jip I tells ya! A jip!
The thing I love about X Factor this year (yes, I know I've been having a good moan but I do love it) is Twitter. Watching it while tweeting makes for a totally different viewing experience. It's like a massive forum and you know, people are funny. Best X Factor tweeters include @gracedent, @CherylKerl, @sueperkins and @NicolaRobertsUK. If you can't watch with your real-life pals, watch with these guys, or both, it's worth it if just for the nick names, One Erection is my favourite so far.
The judges this year are hugely embarrassing, from Louis' toe-curlingly awful 'You remind me of a little Lenny Henry' comment to Paige; to Danni constantly perving on Matt, like an embarrassing Auntie hollering and whooping after one too many G&Ts; to Cheryl and her death stare (don't argue with it Dermot!); to Simon and, well, his hair, I just can't stop looking at it... Anyway, they've been having slanging matches all over the shop this year and it's getting a bit ridiculous.
But who will win? Do you care? Nah. Let's enjoy the journey.
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